GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
