Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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