i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
