before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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