Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
