My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
