I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
