don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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