At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It's blow job season.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize