can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
