You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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