found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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