So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
