Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
