We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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