i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
