I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
