I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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