Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
it was like eating out sand paper
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
