I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
