it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
