dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
