I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
