You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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