Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
