ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
