i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
