No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I showed him my bush... on skype.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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