if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
