Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
