Best friends brother. Beat that.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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