so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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