I don't usually arrange sex via text message
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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