Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
