Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
