Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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