did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize