her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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