have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
