She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
