Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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