btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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