I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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