where am i from again
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
