thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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