i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Drake has all the answers
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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