I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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