Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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