in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
