Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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