whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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