we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
