My balls are so social today.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
