After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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