Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
