I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
