its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
