Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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