During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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