Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
