in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize